Everything But Mine
by Kitty-Biki
Summary: So was that what he was really implying? A lump caught in my throat as I asked... "Do you still love Mai?"
1. Everything But Mine

-.x.-

Everything But Mine

"You're the calm when my world is crashing.  
My heart, my love, my passion.  
Why? Tell me why;  
You're everything but mine."

-.x.-

She'd never felt an emotion so appealing. Gazing out into the beautiful morning sun was something she rarely did yet; it felt oddly pleasing as she felt him racing toward the doors. The morning was bright and warm yet it still had that crisp smell in the air. Even if she'd been coated in a thick layer of black all her life, this had heightened her other senses to the max. Relying on her earth bending to "see" along with her hearing and smell, she had always viewed the world this way. Yet, she was not someone to be pitied. She'd been alone most her life really. From her overprotective parents to her prison at home, it was a relief to travel with the Avatar. Toph Bei Fong had found freedom at last.

She'd been watching discreetly from the shadows but, he'd noticed her... somehow. Maybe she should have given him more credit on _his_ senses. He looked ahead briefly and saw her on the ground floor. His pace seemed to quicken, or so she thought. This was possibly her mind just playing tricks. Was there any real eagerness to see her? They'd only been apart for six weeks after the War. She didn't even know how he really felt. He walked fast as a general statement but today, it just seemed he was faster than usual, if that was at all possible. Smirking as he'd reached her, he teasingly held back a couple steps from her.

But what was he trying to prove? She had self-control. Hell, she was a master earthbender as a part of her; calm and commanding. True it was said she was intolerant and snappy at times, especially with Katara, but overall she had that bad-ass aura about her. She wasn't one to be made a fool of. But was that what he was really implying?

She gave him a quirky smile as he tossed his bag from his shoulders and stepped toward her slowly. Gazing into his eyes or, what she presumed were his eyes, she began to speak, mocking him a little.

"So, Zu-Zu," she began with his crazy sister Azula's pet name for him. "What brings you to my part of the ground?" She felt him frown, he hated that name.

Replying with a snide remark of his own he said; "I apologise, Lady Toph, I just happened to stumble on you staring at me." A small chuckle escaped his lips as she shot him a look one could only describe as frightening.

"You better watch it Sparky, you might just stumble on something else if you don't watch your feet." It was her turn to frown. "And, for the record in case you've forgotten, I can't "stare" at you."

She used air quotes at this point, "I'm blind."

Just to prove her point, she shifted her feet a little before he noticed and turned away. She knew he'd walked toward her, still completely oblivious to the fact that she loved proving things. Of course, he fell flat on his face. She turned for a split second hearing his entire body come down to earth. She smirked at her own joke silently as she suddenly felt him pull at her leg.

_Crash. _Down went her pride along with everything else. Two hopeless fools sprawled in the earth on top of one another. This would be something to explain to Mai if they were caught. As the sudden thought of Mai's love for Zuko prodded its way into her mind, she felt a pang of guilt. Here she was quite possibly flirting with him fully aware of the consequences of Mai's heart. He pulled her close and kissed her forehead softly. This soon escalated into his lips whispering into the shell of her ear as his hands found their way under her green top.

He barely whimpered, but it was enough for her to hear 'Do you find this inappropriate?'

A sudden lump caught its way in her throat mid-way between replying "no" with her end reply sounding something like, "N-uh, _cough_, n-uh..._sigh_... Do you still love Mai?"

Clearly taken aback by this sudden mood-killer statement, he replied softly.

"Yes. She is my everything."


	2. Losing Grip

-.x.-

Losing Grip

"Am I just some chick you placed beside you,  
To take somebodies place?  
When you turn around can you recognize my face...?  
You used to love me, you used to hug me,  
But that wasn't the case.  
Everything wasn't okay..."

-.x.-

~ Toph

_"Yes. She is my everything."_

Those five words rang through my head like a ton of bricks hitting over and over again, even years after they'd been spoken. A raging inferno I really couldn't ever have escaped from, the blaze of hate. I'd been literally thrown from my loved element - my one and only Earth - into something I could never have controlled. Something that hurt like hell and scorched my soul desperately searching for something to feed on.

I was at a loss of words for what seemed the millionth time since meeting him, thinking back to when he'd spoken them. I'd always thought of the newly-appointed Fire Lord as a respectable human worthy of ruling his country. Hell, I'd even had sympathy for him once, but that was a long time ago. His temperature raised several notches that day and I could only have assumed him to be thinking pathetically disgusting thoughts of 'us'. He'd made it clear I wasn't going to be someone he wanted to be with; he wanted a damned fuck toy. He didn't want me because he loved me to any extent, he wanted sex. Hardcore, passion-filled romping in the middle of the night with no attachments, no romance, just pure fucking pleasure. That was the one thing Mai would never have given him even now. He was with her still but they'd still never married, or so I'd heard.

"Baby..." he had coaxed smoothly, "why must that end things for us...? Love cannot fulfil my desire, my need to feel truly wanted. That is something only the greatest bender to live can give me." Zuko had finished with a new found resolve and wrapped his arms around me.

You could have given the man a prize; he'd officially become the one thing I never thought possible of him. Scum Of The Earth. I'd even capitalised that in my mind, the only term possible to describe such a request. I didn't even need my earthbending back then to know that he did not feel regret to the fact he'd proposed cheating on his 'everything'. I double checked the word through my mind as I realised it meant very little to him. He was never true to his vow of chastity. Regardless, I'd gotten up from where we were sprawled as sunrise dawned upon us and walked toward the woods with Zuko, following in some manner he might have thought 'discreet'. I had quickly turned and glared the best I could; coldly and cruelly.

"Toph, baby? Your eyes are narrowed so deeply I don't really see them anymore. Are you okay?" he'd supplied, thoroughly spooked.

_No, you dumbshit. _I thought_. I'm not o-kay. It hurts because I'm fucking glaring at you the best I can, and you won't take a damn hint and shift your ass outta my sight! There is not a God damn chance on this universe, or any other, that I will ever tell you I will be your quick screw. I totally despise everything about you._

I thought back to then, I was still so young. Feisty - granted - but still not old enough to fully comprehend his needs. I'm sixteen now and haven't spoken to _His Highness_ for a full three years.


	3. Angel

-.x.-

Angel

"She lived like she knew nothing lasts,  
Didn't care to look like anyone else,  
And she was beautiful, so beautiful.  
I still hear her laugh like she's here."

-.x.-

~ Zuko

I'd remember the look in her eyes; the shock that riled her. For a blind girl she was very adept in changing the appearance of her eyes, if unconsciously to say the least. Her milky green gaze was one of the reasons I had been looking her way. One of the reasons I had selfishly turned to her. I, Fire Lord Zuko, had requested the innocence of her as a way to ease my raging hormones. I'd sinfully tried to wean my way into her undergarments and ask for what was never rightfully mine. Her pledge of purity; her virginity.

I remember the day so well as it continuously crept into my nightmares even months afterward. For Agni's sake it would probably be the reason I was going to end up in some sort of hell... She'd walked away into the woods with me following behind. I remember the burn of her glare as it scorched my soul. My ego pined for mending, and her hatred of me just aroused my pelvic frustrations even more. Could I have possibly been blamed at the age of 16? Apparently so, as I was rightfully thrown into the nearest tree, my head throbbing with unimaginable pains. The last I saw of Toph Bei Fong was on that fateful day when I'd seen her teenage body walk from me slowly as I lost consciousness, the last audible words from her being;

_"Never speak to me like that again_".

Three years later and I'd found myself not-so-happily unmarried to Mai, the self-appointed Fire Lady of my nation. As the elders encouraged me to find someone to settle down with, pressure on my current relationship with her increased. I did not want marriage until my nation had recovered from the War. I chose to willingly give up a fraction of my pursuit for happiness to focus on reparations and world relations.

Mai, unfortunately, was not happy with my choice and slowly but surely began causing troubles and seeking the initial pleasure I used to give her from other men. Not so different from what I had tried to do only a year beforehand. Mai never knew of my ludicrous request of Toph but there had been problems in our crumbling relationship from the start, years with no physical relations and cold hearted remarks from the Lady in question. She did not approve of my good natured side and was repelled by my more harsh approach to work. I could no longer hold an argument with her - she would walk out for no reason - and I could certainly never communicate with her in private. Years of my refusal to her constant proposals had taken its toll.

_"A house with no foundations will fall easily under pressure"_; wise words from Uncle Iroh, the man responsible for my upbringing. He had always been philosophical, smart and had great respect among many. The great General Iroh had eventually chosen to retire, falling in love with what he called his jem; Ba Sing Se.

The Jasmine Dragon was a popular place among many in the Earth Kingdom. Almost everybody knew of Uncle's amazing tea and his general liking of converse among people. I'd worked there once years ago for a short period of time. I knew exactly where it was located and could follow the directions from any outer wall in the city blind-folded.

It felt oddly pleasing returning caped in a dark hood and casual clothing. It allowed me to feel more like Zuko as opposed to Fire Lord Zuko or Zuko Of The Fire Nation as I'd been so affectionately titled by my people. It did have a certain ring to it, being the Fire Lord, but at the same time I felt great relief in being just Zuko. Like a world of weight had been lifted from my shoulders and I could just forget about the political meetings, international relations treaties, expenses of the Fire Nation and most importantly, forget about my stressful relationship with Mai. One of which could have ended at any minute if I remained home. I didn't dare leave an entire nation in her charge though...

To be honest, I did not trust her. She was too vengeful, too hell-bent on making the Fire Nation the overpowering nation it once had been when my father reigned supreme.

Aang had saved the world from impending doom, and I'd have been damned if I were the one to be blamed for throwing it into a dictatorship again. I placed a faithful general I'd known from my early quests in searching for the Avatar in charge, General Kuno. He was neither selfish nor cruel, had a feel for the people and could make decisions rationally. I felt he could be trusted.

Finally reaching a spot I knew all too well, I looked up at my Uncles much loved sign. Returning my eyes down dejectedly, I saw what could only be described as a sage of the forest. A radiant beauty beyond my comprehension stood before me gleaming in the sunlight. Beautiful black hair trailing down to her waist and misty green eyes almost not comprehending the sights around her. Everything disappeared in that moment, until a vague panging in my memory told me I knew her.

_Place her Zuko, place her..._


	4. Crash World

-.x.-

Crash World

"Go on,  
Get out of my head.  
I'm on the wrong side of a parallel universe,  
Am I alive or just dead?  
I've been somewhere in the dark,  
Living in a crash world."

-.x.-

~ Toph

After years of travelling and visiting many of my friends from the War, I had found everybody settled nicely. Twinkle Toes had finally got up the courage to ask Sugar Queen out and of course Sokka - a guy I had once thought I loved - was always bound to land with the Kyoshi Warrior Suki. I felt a pang of distaste in my mouth after thinking of her name. I didn't know what it was about her; we'd just never gotten on. It was possibly due to my selfish loathing of her getting the guy, perhaps more, I wasn't too sure.

Even so, after all my travels from the North Pole to the Sandy Deserts, I'd never had the thought of going to see Zuko the Fire Lord and his Mistress Mai. I really didn't want to either; in my opinion those two deserved each other, and not in a good way. Zuko had once been filled with angst, a dark shade of betrayal around him. The night he asked me to sleep with him was the night I had realised the angst and hurt changed. It slowly disappeared and filled the gap with ego; one sure disease of puberty.

As of recently I had found I did not want to be travelling so much anymore and settled in Ba Sing Se. I'd finally found work disguising my War Hero Toph Bei Fong image for one simple name of 'Aylin' meaning 'Moon Halo'. Rather fitting I had thought, The Mighty Blind Bandit moved through the night. As I had not been in the Earth Kingdom for years, nobody really recognised me as the sole heiress of the Bei Fong fortune, something I was pleased about; even in my older teenage years I did not have much of a liking for money. I had also recently been told of my beauty from my new employer, Uncle Iroh. He'd regretted that one, I mused as I strode into the shop two weeks ago, he could not place my face.

Odd, I had thought, I didn't think I'd changed too much. After sundown when the shop closed, he took me into the backyard and asked me if I could bend. I walked up to him and told him to look into my eyes, a sudden look of realisation hitting the old General's face.

_"Toph Bei Fong," he had breathed, smiling. "My, my, after all this time, what brings you to my little corner of heaven?"_

He had kindly brought me upstairs and gave me a room to rent at a reduced rate as well as a job at the shop. I thanked him, quickly informing him of my plans to form under Aylin, my new name that avoided all the fuss I was bound to get if revealing who I really was. Surprisingly enough, after my adventures with Twinkle Toes Aang, I'd conformed to wanting a peaceful life. Most unlike the young girl storming through the streets a mere three years beforehand. I guess I really had changed.

Since arriving, I'd been working at the Jasmine Dragon for two weeks, quickly adapting to its routines and customs for service. Early in the morning there was baking to be done and tea to be made even before the customers arrived. Iroh really had expanded his ranges bringing in new flavours of tea with every busload of customers to come in. He would set the tables and greet the customers whilst I worked behind the scenes learning how to make his fabled tea. Dressed in a long green dress and always wearing my hair down now-a-days - a new conformity to my puberty stages - I would dawn my white apron and get to work. There was no way I'd allow the old man to see me slacking off. After all, he provided me with shelter and food. What more could I have asked for?

I would occasionally slip into the towns and gather supplies for the store, always under the pretext of Aylin, Uncle Iroh's god daughter. The people slowly began to know me and believe I was simply the 'sweet girl from the teashop'. I'd have winced at that thought when I was younger; not really my style back then.

This morning was one of the busiest I'd seen since starting at the Jasmine Dragon. People poured in from the streets, playing games and requesting on the wide variety of teas available. One man in particular had piqued my interest. Not in a romantic, butterflies in your stomach attraction, but one where my world seemed to stop dangerously every time his gaze met mine. He'd been standing outside all morning curiously looking into the shop. I decided to step out of the store and pretend to be on my way to town, curiosity reasons obviously, when he stopped me and grabbed my arm, seemingly staring at me. What was the guy on? It was like, I don't know, almost as though he recognised Toph Bei Fong instead of Aylin.

The look quickly vanished from his eyes as I acted upon my temptation to reprimand him for grabbing me. Of course I would be forbidden from using my bending unfortunately; Aylin was not a bender. It would have fitted in too well with the sudden appearance of a girl with long black hair and green obstinate eyes and it didn't take a genius to figure from there who she could possibly be. I reached my hand out to the startled guy I was now convinced to be high on something, and merely commented my name.

"Aylin, pleased to make your acquaintance."

He held back cautiously before replying with his own name. _A strange move,_ I thought. I might have once misread that for fear, but knew this man did not fear me. He was at least two years my superior. "Seth, the pleasure is all mine." he spoke smoothly, grasping my hand tightly. There was something about this guy, I couldn't figure it; he just seemed different...


	5. Beautiful

-.x.-

Beautiful

"When I'm with you,  
I see the world in a different way,  
You shine so bright.  
When I'm close to you,  
I feel the way that you really are.  
It moves my heart…"

-.x.-

~ Iroh

Both Toph and Zuko had come out of no where and stood at the door, chatting away like old pals. I was pleased they had everything sorted out. After walking toward the door and addressing Toph as Aylin, I requested she came inside so I could have a chat with the young man. "Don't chase him away!" she'd called after reluctantly, leaving. "He seems really nice!"

I gave her an odd look as she passed me. What did she mean by 'he seems really nice'? She'd only known my nephew for the past five years or so. Zuko gave me a blank stare also when I'd asked what Aylin meant, being careful to address her as such in public. He quickly informed me that he did not wish his presence to be known here. Until such time he was being called 'Seth', a name he had come up with. It finally dawned on me what had happened. After several moments of silence and thinking I realised those two had no idea who the other was. _Brilliant_, I thought, _this could be fun._

I embraced Zuko in a warm hug and brought him in for some tea. I knew he couldn't resist the taste after so long and proceeded to comment to Toph on how lucky she was to have found him. She blushed lightly as Zuko sent me a warning glare.

_Oh yes_, _I'd forgotten_,_ he was in an everlasting engagement with the grim reaper back home; Mai. _

I didn't dare tread on what had been happening between the two as it was clear Zuko had issues on his mind. That wouldn't stop me fanning some flames whilst he was here though, I thought. He has no idea who she is. It would be fun to play on his emotions whilst he was Mr. Sour Grouch over Mai. I'd asked Zuko if he was planning on taking Toph out anytime soon and he glared at me for the second time in what seemed ten minutes. Toph's light blush had turned into a look of disappointment as I assume she felt his heart rate change in annoyance after I asked the question. I had Zuko cornered and he knew it. There was no way his manners would allow him to leave a woman upset.

"Of course, I would love to take you out, Aylin. Is there anywhere specific in town you would like to go?" He'd suavely covered his anger, something I was unaware he could do until now. I guess all that time around Mai had forced him to act more rationally. I chuckled aloud at my own joke as the pair stared at me questioningly. I'd asked Toph if she knew her way around town after not being in it before.

She knew exactly what I'd aimed at and told me "no" shyly.

I'd suggested the 'Violet Lilly' to them, knowing full well it was Toph's favourite restaurant. "If you wish we go there then we shall, Aylin," was his only reply, shooting me a third stare I knew all too well. If everything went as planned they would get along. If not, well… I just hoped they'd both be able to sustain their calm enough to stay in character. I, the devious General Iroh, had done it again. Too much time around me could turn anyone into a slight romantic, even the rock solid Toph Bei Fong herself.


	6. You And Me

-.x.-

You and Me

"'Cause it's you and me and all of the people,  
With nothing to do, nothing to lose.  
And it's you and me and all of the people,  
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you."

-.x.-

~ Zuko

_As the sun slowly subsided toward the horizon, a misty silver haze cast itself through the Earth Kingdom. A young man stood outside a humble tea house near the north of Ba Sing Se as the sky collapsed into a million colours. __His Moon Angel walked gracefully toward the end of the stairs, and her soft porcelain skin glimmered in the moonlight even from within. The young man's attention was quickly drawn toward his Cinderella as she carefully descended down the stairs. Her flowing green dress followed behind softly as the material glittered unpretentiously. The Moon Angel smiled as she looped her arm elegantly over the elbow offered by the young man._

'_This was certainly not what she'd been wearing earlier…'_ _he thought to himself silently_. '_Damn it, why did he get me roped into this?'_

_The pair moved gradually toward the carriage, two strong white stallions at the hem, as the young man helped the radiant beauty into the white transportation. His angel was beautiful, but his heart was already in the possession of someone else. The Old General knew that all too well as he'd encouraged the young man to be at the store around eight in the evening. _'_I really felt like telling him to forget about the whole thing and then return home to face the music with Mai. I'd be skewered by her no doubt, but I'd rather not be called a cheater,' he thought._

_That was when the young man looked into the angel's eyes…_

The evening was filled with laughter as we both realised we had a lot in common; tastes in music, for example. I had no idea Aylin would be the type interested in rock. She had a wide variety of other interests too. The night sky for instance. She would gaze up at the sky and merely comment, "_I bet there's a lot to be seen up there."_

We ate in a small, candlelight restaurant I'd come to know as the 'Violet Lilly'. The food presented there was amazing. I was forced to hold back from being rude and eating everything served. Aylin however, did not seem to have such qualms. I let out a chuckle, as she clearly liked her food.

To be sure I was not recognised I had Uncle cut and restyle my hair to look less like the uncontrollable mess it once was. I'd checked myself in a mirror before coming and I had looked different for sure. _Was it a bad thing? _Aylin was a beauty. Her hair had been cut to revolve just below her shoulders and styled into sexy curls. She wore a stunning green dress that was held on her fully developed chest, ending flawlessly at her ankles.

_Almost as soon as the evening began, the two found it ending. The young man led Cinderella out onto the porch of the restaurant and gazed toward her. His angel had other interests however, as she continued to observe the sky. _

"_The night sky holds so many mysteries for me, I'm sure it's beautiful," she had commented._

"_Yes, you are…"_

_And that was when he kissed her._


	7. The Secrets In The Telling

-.x.-

The Secrets In The Telling

"Your name is pounding through my veins,  
Can't you hear how it is sung?  
And I can taste you in my mouth,  
Before the words escape my lungs,  
And I'll whisper only once…"

-.x.-

~ Toph

Waking up a daze the following morning I found myself in a state. Green dress still worn, make-up smudged right across my face and my heels still on. What was I when I came in; drunk? I didn't really know, but all I could remember of the last night was his kiss. Seth's soft luscious lips planted upon mine. The feeling was so uncontrollable I'd actually shed a tear when it ended. What was up with that? This morning held so many unanswered questions for me.

Feeling like some sort of hung-over mess, I'd lazily got things together, showered and dressed. Today was going to be eventful. I'd somehow navigated my way down the stairs, my bending completely impaired for the moment, and almost fell into Uncle Iroh.

_Brilliant,_ I thought, _Why not just let the entire world know of my escapades?_

As my mind reeled through more of last nights events, everything eventually came back. The horse and carriage, the sweet restaurant, Seth…

_His kiss. His gentle inflaming lips sending signals to every good feeling in my body. _

Man, what was I doing?! Acting some like some giddy schoolgirl with a crush! Was that what it was? I didn't even know, but with the realisation of a few questions more kept arising.

_Did I mean anything to him now? _I'd pondered hopefully. I hadn't felt someone appreciate me in so long through my travels. _Zuko certainly never. _A pang in my chest roared out as I thought of the ever-selfish prince. My heart-string kept pulling as the thought of him almost drove me insane. I'd actually collapsed. Toph Bei Fong fainted at the thought of a guy. A guy she despised with every fibre of her body nonetheless.

_Bad luck referring to myself in the third person, _I'd decided sullenly as I regained awareness. Falling was something I rarely did. Falling into a guys arms was even more uncommon. Falling into _Seth's_ _arms_ as I re-entered my consciousness was just unexplainable.

Browsing around the room lazily forgetting for a moment I was blind, I could not understand the black blanket wrapped around me. My mind spinning in thought, I fell back onto memories of the Gang. Sokka, Suki, Aang, Katara… Zuko. Barely in a whisper, I'd sealed my fate as Aylin.

Commenting, half dazed, I asked:

"_Sparky… why is everything so dark in here?_"


	8. I Need You

-.x.-

I Need You 

"It's a time to remember,  
It's a time we have to believe,  
It's a time to surrender,  
To someone that your heart really needs."

-.x.-

~ Zuko

"_Sparky… why is everything so dark in here?__"_

I was _sure_ that's what she said. I hadn't heard that line in so long; it shocked me so much I nearly fainted too. She'd called me _Sparky_.

'_Why is everything so dark…?__'_It was broad daylight outside. Sunshine shone through the doors and basked the small tea house in a mild heat. Many were covering their eyes to hide from the glimmer yet Aylin continued on unaffected by this. Her wide green eyes did not seem to notice the light so obviously lingering in the Jasmine Dragon. Or was it that she could not see it?

_She could not see the light... she could not see._

This was infuriating me so much. I could place the line, place the term, I just couldn't place the face. The one person who always called me 'Sparky'; who was she? I tried to figure it out in my mind. Aylin living with my uncle, reduced rates, my uncles eagerness for us to get along? How had he come across Aylin anyway? Word around town was that she was his goddaughter but I knew the only two even remotely close to Uncle were me and Azula. I understood his kindness for almost all, especially females, yet he'd never take in a stray out of the blue.

_Stray... Was that what 'Aylin' was? A wild, free spirit disowned by her parents... left to fend for herself in the world. Continuing with her life not caring what people thought of her._

I was even questioning her name in my mind now. Did she lie to me about her name? To everyone? It could be plausible, I lied to her...

_That was totally different, Zuko. You're the Fire Lord. It is reasonable._

But why would she lie? What did she have to gain from hiding her real identity? What was it? So many unanswered questions leading to one final conclusion; the pieces were there, I only had to fit them correctly into the puzzle. A blind girl with green eyes and long hair; a girl who knew my nickname; a girl my uncle was extremely kind to, possibly knew. A girl with a hidden identity and a personal reason to lie; a wild spirit left to fend for herself; a spirit not caring on her appearance to others. A spirit who could be herself.

The pieces suddenly fell into place...

_Aylin was Toph... _

_No._

_Toph Bei Fong was Aylin._

It all fit from then on; the blind thirteen year old I had left so many years beforehand. No, she left me. She had left me unconscious under that tree after throwing me from her. The misty green, obstinate eyes and turbulent black hair I'd loved and longed for so much; the one person haunting my dreams for the past three years. The face, so sullen and heartbroken, thrown into a whirl of rage. The eyes, so sightless yet so lively; animated, full of life; without the ghosts of her past. The girl I would have gave my right to rule for or, more importantly, the girl I would have gave the right to rule beside me; the one I wanted as my queen.

_I no longer wanted Mai. _

The girl I once would have went to war for. The girl I once had enough devotion for to match my will to impress my father. The first person to ever really love me for Zuko, not for the Fire Lord.

The girl who left distaste in my mouth every time I thought back to when I kissed her. The girl who had endeavoured on countless one night encounters to satisfy her sexual needs. The girl who constantly asked me to marry her despite knowing how unhappy it would make her to have a partner like me.

_Her being unhappy? What about me… ?_

_I _was the one unhappy now-a-days. I was the one constantly wondering why I was still with her. She'd obviously become power-crazed and overly judgemental. Sometimes I thought her only goal was to break my crazy sister Azula out of her prison. Did I really think that lowly of her? It didn't even matter anymore because I knew I was unhappy with her. I knew I couldn't go on 'being with her'.

_My heart belonged to someone else now._


	9. Chemicals React

-.x.-

Chemicals React

"Kaleidoscope of colours,  
Turning hopes on fire, sun is burning,  
Shining down on both of us;  
Don't let us lose it (don't let us lose it...)"

-.x.-

~ Toph

I remember it well… The scar; the messy hair; the smile...

The few things that made him who he was; his dark aura of a pained childhood… striding with angst always trailing not that far behind… Even now I know that young boy is within him as a man…

It was so impossible that I couldn't have seen it coming. Then again, I couldn't see anything truly. From the moment I felt his presence I should have known the man that stood before me was the one haunting my dark quilts of comfort with the light. The light that, ironically, blinded me from the truth; a light guiding me into believing Zuko was someone he wasn't. More to the point, the light making me believe Seth was someone entirely different from the scum hurting me so many years beforehand. I knew though… I knew from the moment I landed on top of him once more this was the man I had spent hours crying over, wasted tears of heartbreak and pain hitting the ground over and over as I travelled. I didn't think I would have seen him again so soon… or ever for that matter.

That train of thought seemed to lead me to my next question; did he know the girl he had been romancing was Toph Bei Fong? Did he know anything, for that matter? If he did know, it was a cruel trick to play. I still couldn't believe I didn't realize who he was... especially when he kissed me again. My lips were also a sensitive vibration point, not that many touched them often, but I should have known. The guy I had spent countless dreams of intimacy over was in fact Fire Lord Zuko. Not that I didn't like the idea; it was just so wrong. I know in the way of morality my compass has never pointed due north but... if I were to say something was wrong it was wrong. And this certainly was.

The thought of me and Zuko together? Yuck. Besides, he had his Mai-baby to fawn over. Come to think of it, he hadn't spoken of her once during his time here; whenever Uncle Iroh brought up the topic it would be dropped as fast as Aang's wind manipulation. Did Iroh know he was here? Of course he should have; Iroh could see, see the scar I had only felt and imagined in my dreams. It was a big give away for the quaint Prince. The guy I had (yes, I am mentioning it again) fallen over on more than one occasion... and in more than one way. I hated to admit it, but as he helped me up, I felt my heart skip a beat for the millionth time. This would have been alright if it were Seth helping me. Not Zuko. Then again, they were the same person. Seth the kind gentleman who cared a lot about everything and had valuable insightful opinions was the obnoxious, self-centered asshole Zuko.

I quickly thanked him and retreated to the kitchen, my bending was still impaired slightly. This resulted in me walking as if I were drunk (believe me, I've felt Sokka's movements; I know what it's like) and falling over slightly. Not the image I wanted to give; I was perfectly okay. As Seth, no Zuko, walked up to me and slammed the counter I felt his temperature rise. His slam had made me jump, turning quickly. As he tapped his feet each vibration was in quick succession of the last. Impatient. As he began drumming his fingers next on the counter seemingly staring at me, possibly glaring by the feel of it, I held my head in pain. I'd never felt anything so painful both mentally and physically, as though each part of my body was being ripped from me, set alight and left to burn to ashes; very possible with the Lord of the Fire Nation. He was unbelievably angry, I could feel it. What was up with the hothead?

~ Zuko

I have to admit, my first response to the situation was not very diplomatic. What could have been expected of me? I was angry, more so than I had ever been before. She couldn't have not known I was the Fire Lord. It really disgusted me what she had done, pretending to be some fictitious 'Aylin' to get close to me then tear my heart? So, angry as I naturally was, I stormed up to the counter that separated the kitchen and dining room, ready to demand an explanation. She'd hidden in there after figuring the game was up. She couldn't pretend any longer. How she had managed to pretend she was not blind for so long eluded me.

Slamming my fist down on the counter, I made her jump. Clearly preoccupied in her own thoughts, Toph turned toward me. Her misty green eyes locked with my golden orbs and I lost myself for a moment; I forgot why I so desperately hurt inside. As the moment wearily wore off, I found my new state a mixture of hate and love. So confused, I ran through my mind why I had been feeling this way. Toph couldn't possibly have captured my heart already, could she? As the sightless young maiden looked me over once more, I couldn't figure what to do.

"T-Toph… We need to talk," I barely spoke above a whisper; half mumbling my thoughts into some unidentifiable ramble that was my voice. I think she had heard me though. Silently signalling to the stairs, she walked toward them with some difficulty. As hard for me as it was, I did restrain from helping her. I was angry, for Agni's sake! No girl would break me like this, allowing me to crumble into a mess without accepting responsibility for it.

I followed behind slowly, reluctant to begin the thunderous confrontation that would soon occur. Knowing Toph, if I reacted too harshly, a boulder appearing out of no where would come and knock me out cold. As we entered her bedroom I could see items of Toph's that reminded me of the girl she once was. Rocks of various varieties, a jar of dirt on the desk beside her bed; a cupboard filled with greens and whites. I then turned to see items resembling the woman Toph Bei Fong had become; flowing dresses of various colours, hair clips and bobbles, make-up even. Much unlike the young girl I knew.

"So, I assume it's safe to call you "Sparky" then?" Toph began speaking without warning. What could I do? I needed answers and fast before I blew my top again.

"You might as well, shorty. You know who I am," I replied sullenly.

"Is there anyone who doesn't know who you are? After all, you're the big shot Fire Lord now. Married to your precious Mistress Mai, or so I've heard." She laughed.

"You heard wrong apparently; I'm not married to her. Far from it actually. I love you." That shut Toph up fast. Staring at me, demanding some sort of explanation, I continued, sighing. "These past few days I have been romancing the greatest girl ever. She makes me smile, laugh, makes me want to grab her tight and never let her go. Perhaps you know of her?" I smiled drearily, remembering the girl I had been romancing was Toph. The girl of my dreams; the blind, beautiful maiden I wanted so badly. She stood in front of me yelling, so oblivious to that fact.

"Yeah, I do know of her. She left a while ago; sick of being lied to and tricked."

I snapped my head back to reality, shocked at what Toph was saying. "What are you talking about?!" I began yelling. "I didn't lie to you!"

"Oh I'm sorry, Seth. You change your name in the past three years or something? Maybe you do it every three years; I wouldn't know. It's not like I've been around to know," she supplied snidely.

"That was your choice! You were welcome at the palace yet you chose not to turn up!" It was true; Toph Bei Fong had never once set foot back into the Fire Nation.

"I didn't want to get in the way of you and your stupid wife!"

"She isn't my wife, damn it!"

"Oh, so why not?! You're with her for over three years just to say 'Oh by the way, I don't want to marry you'? Yeah, that never happens, Zuko!"

I could feel myself getting so much angrier at her; she knew I hadn't married the witch back home. "That's not what happened! She changed! We both did!"

"So now she's too good for you, huh?!" Damn it, this was getting nowhere. Every comment I made retaliated back at me with one of hers to accompany it. It was like

I'd been slapped in the face; several times over.

"No! I've just found someone better! Someone who doesn't make me want to kill her every time she speaks! Someone who doesn't go behind my back sleeping with other guys for sex!"

"How would you know if this 'someone' did or not?! You keeping tabs on her or something?! Seriously, stalking me at night to check whether I'm fucking every random stranger really makes you weird!"

"Damn it Toph! Just shut up already!"

"What the hell are you going to do if I don't?!"

I was sick of this; the yelling, torture. Grabbing her slender body quickly, I thrust my head forward and kissed the enraged earth bender passionately, needing to forget the pain and anguish I had caused coming across her; needing to express my tormented soul. I continued to hold her even after the kiss. Whispering in the shell of her ear delicately, I mumbled. "You know I love you, right?"

Her response was not one I could have anticipated easily. I really had hoped Toph would fall into my arms, relax and return my kiss, perhaps even shed a few drops of emotion; tears. I certainly was on the verge of crying; most unlike me. What could I say? This is what she had turned me into. Unfortunately, I had rated her feelings perhaps a little too highly. Shoving me off, she turned away. "No. You don't, Zuko. Just leave."

"But Toph-!" This was when the tears began to fall.

"I said go already, Sparky!" Turning quickly, she stared at me with a sightless glare. "I don't love you. I don't give a damn about you or what you do. I couldn't care less if you went and killed yourself. Just leave now."

Falling freely now, the wet drops of rejection splattered my face in tens and twenties. As I vaguely held out my arm to hold her shoulder, I couldn't understand what was happening. Had she just broke my heart? Gripping her shoulder tightly I just wanted to hold on a little longer, keep a little bit of her for myself. Hell, I wanted to hold her tightly in my arms and never let go. In this moment all I felt was Toph and me. No-one else mattered.

It still didn't matter to her though; I didn't matter. Shoving me for a final time, she silently projected her thoughts. She needed me gone if she could keep any sort of equiliberum within herself. Letting go and leaving reluctantly, I closed the door on what I thought could have been my future. Descending down the stairs at an alarming rate, I ran into Uncle Iroh.

"What has just happened, Zuko?" he asked, clearly alarmed of the noises that came from her room.

"She doesn't want me," I replied simply, still tearing a little.

Grasping my Uncles shoulder, I bid him farewell as I walked out of the door and down the street toward the exit out of Ba Sing Se. Turning back slightly after I had walked out of the city, I smiled. Still the same old Toph Bei Fong.


End file.
